That’s my four-year-old talking about her big brother, Max. Sometimes, when they’re playing together, Max accidentally drools on her. And she thinks it’s gross. “Honey, he didn’t do it on purpose,” I’ll tell her. “It just happens sometime. Maybe you can help wipe his mouth next time.” Max drools pretty regularly throughout the day. He’s…
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Playtime troubles and my friendly little boy
Written on October 19, 2009 by Ellen
Back in June, I wrote about getting other kids to play with your child, an issue that a lot of parents of kids with special needs grapple with. It is still plaguing me, and it’s stressful. Max is a superfriendly, curious kid. But he scares other kids. Yesterday, two neighborhood kids came over to the…
The joy
Written on October 12, 2009 by Ellen
The thing about having a kid with special needs is, the sorrows are intense. But so are the joys. When Max does anything for the first time, I could practically do a cartwheel. When he brings home an art project, I’m in awe. When he attempts to say words, I’m gleeful. When he dances, my…
My son’s happiness vs. our family’s happiness
Written on October 5, 2009 by Ellen
This weekend, we decided to go out for Italian food at a new restaurant. It was dinnertime, it was going to be crowded, we should have known better. Max gets wiggy in unfamiliar environments, and he can’t stand noise. But we wanted to try. You can guess what happened. We got there, they seated us,…
Forget the kids—let’s talk about US!
Written on September 28, 2009 by Ellen
Me: I remember her fondly. That is, the me who used to spend Sunday afternoons reading. The me who used to go out dancing on Saturday night with girlfriends, and end up grooving with some cute guy on the dance floor. The me who used to love planning exotic vacations just as much as going…
Those flashes of sadness
Written on September 21, 2009 by Ellen
I was at a local event over the weekend and spotted Ethan, a kid who’s the same age as Max, six. They were born days apart. Back when they were babies, his mom and I chipped in to hire an expert to teach us baby massage. She came to our house and we placed the babies on the…
To have a third child or not?
Written on September 14, 2009 by Ellen
My sister’s due date is next week. My good friend Lyla is having a baby next month. I am so, so excited for both of them. I am also a little melancholy. Anytime anyone close to me is having their first kid, I can’t help but flash back to my pregnancy with Max. When I…
Yet more special-needs-Mommy confessions
Written on September 7, 2009 by Ellen
What, you thought I was done after last week’s round of confessions? Oh, no. There’s plenty more where that came from: • I hate it when others make like I’m a saint because I’m bringing up a kid with special needs. I didn’t have a choice, people! (Though yes, I am doing my best.) •…
Special needs mommy confessions
Written on August 31, 2009 by Ellen
• Sometimes, when strangers ask if Max (who’s six) and Sabrina (who’s four) are twins, I say yes. It’s just easier. • It is awesome that Max is trying to drink out of a cup by himself and feed himself, but I get tired of cleaning up the mess. • I do not use Max’s…
Is it wrong to not hope for the miracle?
Written on August 24, 2009 by Ellen
As you read this, I am in Raleigh, North Carolina with Max and my husband; tomorrow, we are going to Duke University to get Max a stem cell infusion, using the cord blood we banked after his birth. You’ve probably heard about stem cell therapy. It’s still considered experimental, but there’s no evident potential harm….
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