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“Ewwww, he drooled on me”

That’s my four-year-old talking about her big brother, Max. Sometimes, when they’re playing together, Max accidentally drools on her. And she thinks it’s gross. “Honey, he didn’t do it on purpose,” I’ll tell her. “It just happens sometime. Maybe you can help wipe his mouth next time.” Max drools pretty regularly throughout the day. He’s…

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Playtime troubles and my friendly little boy

Back in June, I wrote about getting other kids to play with your child, an issue that a lot of parents of kids with special needs grapple with. It is still plaguing me, and it’s stressful. Max is a superfriendly, curious kid. But he scares other kids. Yesterday, two neighborhood kids came over to the…

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The joy

The thing about having a kid with special needs is, the sorrows are intense.  But so are the joys. When Max does anything for the first time, I could practically do a cartwheel. When he brings home an art project, I’m in awe. When he attempts to say words, I’m gleeful. When he dances, my…

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My son’s happiness vs. our family’s happiness

This weekend, we decided to go out for Italian food at a new restaurant. It was dinnertime, it was going to be crowded, we should have known better. Max gets wiggy in unfamiliar environments, and he can’t stand noise. But we wanted to try. You can guess what happened. We got there, they seated us,…

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Forget the kids—let’s talk about US!

Me: I remember her fondly. That is, the me who used to spend Sunday afternoons reading. The me who used to go out dancing on Saturday night with girlfriends, and end up grooving with some cute guy on the dance floor. The me who used to love planning exotic vacations just as much as going…

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Those flashes of sadness

I was at a local event over the weekend and spotted Ethan, a kid who’s the same age as Max, six. They were born days apart. Back when they were babies, his mom and I chipped in to hire an expert to teach us baby massage. She came to our house and we placed the babies on the…

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To have a third child or not?

My sister’s due date is next week. My good friend Lyla is having a baby next month. I am so, so excited for both of them. I am also a little melancholy. Anytime anyone close to me is having their first kid, I can’t help but flash back to my pregnancy with Max. When I…

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Yet more special-needs-Mommy confessions

What, you thought I was done after last week’s round of confessions? Oh, no. There’s plenty more where that came from: • I hate it when others make like I’m a saint because I’m bringing up a kid with special needs. I didn’t have a choice, people! (Though yes, I am doing my best.) •…

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Special needs mommy confessions

• Sometimes, when strangers ask if Max (who’s six) and Sabrina (who’s four) are twins, I say yes. It’s just easier. • It is awesome that Max is trying to drink out of a cup by himself and feed himself, but I get tired of cleaning up the mess. • I do not use Max’s…

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Is it wrong to not hope for the miracle?

As you read this, I am in Raleigh, North Carolina with Max and my husband; tomorrow, we are going to Duke University to get Max a stem cell infusion, using the cord blood we banked after his birth. You’ve probably heard about stem cell therapy. It’s still considered experimental, but there’s no evident potential harm….

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